Eating food though you know it will make you poop!

Why do we eat these things?  McDonald’s, Taco Bell, too much dairy or
fried stuff, etc.  They taste so good when you eat it and then you feel
like ass when you are on the can pooping.

You know what your final destination will be as you are going to these
places and even before you order.  But it just calls for you, calling
your name to eat that chalupa combo meal Number 6 or the fried greasy
double cheeseburger on the dollar menu, that hits you like a brick 20
minutes later.

I don’t get it.

Don’t drink expresso @ 10:30pm on a Sunday

Especially if you have to work on Monday. It will keep you up late and
make u dead tired on Monday.  This is not a good way to start your work
week. Also not a good way to help you sleep and unwind for the week
ahead. It just wounds you up and make u jump off the walls.

My 2nd Wedding Anniversary

Well I am two years married.  Its my 2nd wedding anniversary and everyday (even on the bad ones) I am glad I made the decision to spend the rest of my life with Kristen.  She is a beautiful, caring woman who I love to be silly with and laugh.  She is also the one I love with all my heart.

She is a strong and intelligent woman. A terrific mom and I am blessed and honored to call her my wife.

She spoils me and takes care of me.  She is my lobster; my manchego cheese.

We are both going through the hardest time in our lives and I am blessed she is there by my side and I am there for her.

I love her and look forward to the good and bad times we will encounter together!

Doug Heffernan syndrome

Is it me or is every big guy with somewhat of a personality want to be or thinks they are Doug Heffernan from King of Queens? Add me to that list.  When I watch the show I think that it is me or that is how I would react if I was in the situation. Kevin James plays the cool big guy.  I take it as a compliment when people say I remind them of him.
At least its not Danny Devito.

Does pain go away or do you become numb to it?

Does pain go away or do you become numb to it? I know I will never forget my daughter and “with time” it will get easier for us. I also know that I am only a month removed since my daughter passed and seeing out to the future is too long of time. Will this pain ever go away? If you run from it, it will sooner or later come out. I think the group sessions next week will help us. It will be good to listen to others and maybe learn on what they do or have done. Also to meet people that know what we are going through. It is true though, you suppress it inside and then something stupid- a commercial or even watching fireworks can just bring out the pain and tears you have inside. I want it to come out. I need a good cry. I know that I cannot build myself up, until I break down. Amazing how such a little person in just 12 days can affect the rest of your life. I just wish I had more days….

My wife

My wife is special.  She is always thinking of me.  She got me a massage this weekend.  It was so nice of her even though she could have gotten as well.  I am blessed to have her. 

We both have had a rough time with the death of our little angel.  Everyday I give thanks to God for having her by my side.  She is truly wonderful!

Drinking even though you have to pee.

I do not know why even when I have to pee and I am driving, I still end up drinking my drink.  Even though I have to pee bad.  So I am thirsty and I have to pee?  I do not get it!

Pushing the elevator button

So you are about to go to an elevator and you realize that the button has already been pushed.  Why is that you go and push it again anyway.  The button is already lit up!

Snackmosphere

Why is it that when you go to grab a bag of chips and it feels full, only to open it and air come out and barely any chips in the bag.  That is snackmosphere!  I hate it.

Washing your hands after a Deuce.

OK so what is so hard with washing your hands after taking care of business. I mean you are using a piece of tp to wipe your ass and that stank is now on your hands. 

Please wash your handswit soap and water.  Thank god I use a piece of papertowel to open the door to leave the bathroom.  That is just disgusting.  Reminds me of Mall Rats and the scene with “Ass Hands”.  WASH YOUR DIRTY HANDS!

This weekend

Well this is a long weekend and I am looking forward to spending some quality alone time with the Mrs.  I think the time will be used to connect again and also to get away.  We can connect with nature and maybe have some of our grieving feelings come out.  Maybe we can get some too (LOL)!

Good Times

Laying in Bed and not sleeping

Why is it that I cannot lay in bed for a long period of time if I am not sleeping.  I hate when the bed gets all hot and then you have to attempt to sleep in it.  No thank you.  That is one of the reasons no TV in the bedroom.

Hardest time of my life

So I am about to turn 30 and my life has taken some unexpected turns.  I have experience one of life greatest loss. My daughter.  I miss her so much. My life feels as if they scooped everything up and shook the hell out of it and threw it down like you would in a game of canasta.

It has been tough going through all these emotions.  Everyone has their theory of how you are suppose to feel.  Well guess what.  It is not that easy and you are not experiencing them.

Right now I feel as if I scrunched up all my feeling and pushed them deep inside me.  I am isolating myself from it. 

You know when the brain and the heart know but are not working together.  Well I know that we were fortunate to spend time with her and I should be greatful for that. However it is really hard for my heart to understand that.

It is tough being the one that is “strong” all the time.  You feel you really don’t have the opportunity to be weak.  Cause everyone else is being weak and you are not sure if they can be strong for you.  They probably can and are, but I am not allowing them to help me.

I love my wife.  If this does not make us stronger then I do not know what will.  I also know this will strain our young marriage.  So communication is key and we have to understand everyone grieves differently.